The Impact of Media Reporting on Suicide: A Personal Perspective
Losing a loved one is an indescribable pain, and when that loss is due to suicide, the grief is compounded by overwhelming emotions—confusion, sorrow, and a deep need for privacy. This is my story—not just of loss, but of the unforeseen consequences media reporting can have on grieving families.
Before my son Adam’s inquest [my only child], I took deliberate steps to protect his privacy, as he valued it deeply in life. I reached out to the HM Coroner’s Office, expressing my family’s wish to keep the details of his passing confidential. His service was private, attended only by invitation. I chose not to announce his death publicly and closed his social media account to preserve his memory within our close circle.
In the months that followed, I found solace in routine—eventually establishing a structured schedule of remote work, home exercise, well-being, and counselling. Living alone, these practices became my coping mechanism, along with the unwavering support of boyfriend, family and friends. At work, I maintained a professional shield, but in private, I was navigating immense pain.
The Northern Echo requested Adam’s inquest recording, which, post-COVID, is legally accessible even if journalists are not physically present. While the Samaritans provide guidance for journalists on responsible reporting, inquests are public, and the media are legally allowed to publish details from proceedings.
However, I was not informed by The Northern Echo at any stage that they were writing or publishing the article. They later acknowledged that some aspects of their report contradicted the Samaritans best practices. While they removed the distressing details I flagged, the damage had already been done. Words cannot be unseen, and the emotional impact cannot be undone.
Since then, I have struggled, stepping into public spaces knowing that strangers might be aware of the most personal and painful details of my son’s death. While I understand the media’s legal rights, there is an urgent need for a standard approach to safeguard grieving families. The current system lacks adequate protections for sensitive personal information, particularly in cases where public interest is minimal.
The Samaritans’ media guidelines aim to minimise harm, yet in Adam’s case, they were not fully observed. This experience has highlighted gaps in the support available to bereaved families, as well as those responsible for reporting. While my local coroner’s office has been understanding and is working to ensure families are informed when inquest recordings are requested, the law itself needs to evolve. Had a simple, clear line been included in the paperwork explaining the media’s access rights, I could have been prepared.
My hope in sharing this is to start a conversation. How do we balance the media’s right to publish with the dignity and privacy of those grieving? What can be done to ensure families are aware of their rights before it’s too late? I am pursuing this further. I have included in this blog the person who gave me the news, as his distress must also be considered as a long-term impact for the future.
“The messenger of an unexpected revelation”
“A person’s grief is something I find difficult to approach. It is a heavy burden for someone to bear on a hard journey they must travel in their own time and way. Their personal choice should only be supported with understanding, compassion, and a sensitivity that respects their position. That’s what I try to do.
This instance, which began with an innocent statement, was immediately impacted when I got it so obviously wrong. It affected both the person and myself at a public occasion that should have provided a more positive and supportive experience.
As Mayor, I attend numerous events and always check my briefing notes and local news from the press and social media beforehand. I read online the details of the inquest and met Ms. Graydon, who I knew well and regularly see in meetings. I was greeted positively, and I was also pleased to see her looking relaxed and happy, clearly looking forward to the forthcoming event. I mentioned that just a few minutes ago, I had seen the article regarding her son, Adam. The outcome of my simple statement was immediate—Ms. Graydon became visibly upset. I was shocked by her distress, as I had instinctively thought she was already aware of this. Despite my well-intentioned remark, the impact of my action affected both of us. I deeply regret the upset I unwittingly caused. It is not something I want to remember, but it is proving very hard to forget.”
By Susan Graydon & Mike Harker